The Sneaky Mind Trap that Keeps You Working and Doing More

Are you working hours, days, and weeks but the sense of being finished does not come?

Does your life feel like a never-ending story of doing but not arriving?

In this article, I give you a new perspective on how to tackle the never-ending trap of endless striving to work and doing more + the effect that it has on you feeling incomplete and not finished.

 

The problem with doing, doing, doing

My life has been and still is about having a high-performing and optimized life.

Striving to get better.

Striving to optimize.

Striving to figure it all out.

Doing more, more and more.

Striving is necessary for our development and feels awesome. It makes you excited to grow and build. To figure it all out and be crazy good.

But. If you are living in the striving energy all the time, you start to identify yourself with that.

You see everything as something to be done, achieve, or conquer. Because of this world’s view on life and work, life becomes more stressful, busy, and incomplete.

Then… thoughts start to creep in:

• “Crap. I am still not finished. I should finish that project in the few next days”
• “Wait a moment. This project is much bigger than I thought. I should keep going. Have I seen the many tasks that are still not finished?”
• “How can I do more? Maybe I can multitask and read that paper while eating lunch.”

So, how does that affect your well-being? An unbalanced, constant striving, signals to your body, mind, and soul:

A rigid and unpleasant feeling of incompletion.

Your whole body says:

“Alarm, alarm!
We have not arrived at our destination.
We have not yet fulfilled our purpose.
We need to do more.”

Then your mind comes in and wants to solve it.

The mind thinks to itself:

“Oh, okay, thanks body, the goal is not yet achieved. Hmm… How can I then find a solution to achieve the goal? Ah, I need a new strategy, or a new secret technique or maybe I need to google it. No wait, no I have it, I need to just do more. I need to work harder and faster.”

And here we are. Welcome to the vicious circle.

So how are you ever able to feel complete?

How could this endless pursuit give you the feeling of being finished.

The focus of solving the incompletion by doing more keeps you trapped in a world of incompletion.

We need a new perspective.That is why I am introducing you to a new paradigm:

 

In the last years, I frequently stumbled upon the concept of masculine and feminine energies based on the Tantra literature.

These concepts opened up a new world for me on how to tackle “the doing” in a more balanced way.

If we take these philosophical perspectives and put them in the context of achieving, we get this:

• Masculine energy means —> Working, optimizing, striving
• Feminine energy means —> Processing, surrendering, letting go

In other words:

• Masculine energy means —> I am striving toward completion
• Feminine energy means —> I see all as completion

So imagine, if your whole life is only about striving towards completion.

Completion will never really come, because your topic is “striving towards” which is an infinite endeavor.

If not balanced this creates a strong duality in your being and this can cause stress and anxiety.

 

Start living in balance. Out of completion.

Let’s get this straight:

You are made to grow. You are made to build. You are made to achieve great things.

But you are also made to love, enjoy, surrender, and let go.

I assume that you are like me who loves to build, optimize and learn. But you also want to have a balanced life with more surrender, joy, and love in your life.

For this, you simply need to practice living life out-of-completion. Instead “for completion”.

It will benefit you highly.

It will make you see, feel and experience life as a whole, as divine and complete.

Create space for the out-of-completion energy to happen.

Start with 5min a day.

In the beginning, it may be hard for you. Especially if the identification with the striving energy is strong. Your mind will tell you that there is no time to see life “as complete”, no time for the present moment, love, and surrender.

Expect that your mind will try to misdirect you in that regard.

 

Be prepared that you will experience resistance to allowing yourself to take space.

• ”Oh, I don’t have time to take care of myself”
• “First the work needs to be finished then I can enjoy”
• “But I feel so excited to keep working. I have so many ideas.”

Don’t fall for this trap. Your mind wants to keep you in your old familiar patterns.

You are stronger.

With practice, this will become easier.

In the beginning, these practices are great for learning how to lean into the out-of-completion energy:

• Take a cold or hot shower and experience the water on your skin.
• Take a comfortable position, put on some soothing background music, and follow a calm meditation guidance.
• Rest. Lie down. Do nothing. Don’t distract yourself. Just be.
• Dance like no one is watching.
• Sit down, put your hand on your heart, and connect with your inner self.
• Grab some colors and a piece of paper. Start painting with no concept in mind.
• Whenever you take breaks don’t distract yourself and soak up the air in your lungs.
• Whatever your beliefs are. Pray for something bigger than yourself.
• Put your shoes off and walk in a field of grass.
• Search for an appealing yoga YouTube video and let yourself be guided through the positions.
• Light a candle, take a blanket, and drink a warm tea.

 

When you want to create a life out of completion. You need to understand that the context will always be much more important than the content.

The principle:

• Context > over > Content
• Context = Intention / Energy / Vibration
• Content = Activity / Doing / Action

So how you do these activities is much more important than which activities you do.

Let’s take an example in the context of striving:

Calming activities can also be “performed” in the energy of optimization.

• “I meditate for being more focused at work”
• “I rest 5min more so I have more energy to work more hours”
• “I take cold showers because then I am healthier”

The context here = For completion/striving

The content = Meditation, rest, and cold showers

Even though, these activities are mentally and physically healthy for you, with this context they signal to your body to achieve, strive and conquer.

Be sure that when you practice that your intention is coming from the out-of-completion energy.

Intentions like

• Letting go of control and judgment
• Trusting and having faith in what is in the present moment
• Seeing life as completion

 

Your next step